Monthly Archives: February 2010

Mumbai and My Crazy Friend!!

My journey from Hyderabad to Mumbai in a sleeper class by the way, was a nightmare… I was visited by at least 4 eunuchs during my journey and I was scared to death.. believe me… I some how managed to maintain my “i swear il kick you in your b**** if you touch me” look, n hence I was spared.My advice… never travel in a sleeper class from Hyderabad to Mumbai cause its the noisiest train ever.

Day 1
Finally reached my destination and I was sooo looking forward to spending time with my girl friend. My dear darling friend said we were going to have awesome fun but before that, we need to go visit a skin doc… so she calls the doc and makes her appointment and then we rush out and travel across Mumbai, searching for this one doc who stays in some neverland.. anyways, we finally find him and go in to meet him.So the tiny doc(thats what my frnd calls him by the way..)asks us which one of us is dying of skin disease, after that was confirmed, he asks my friend the med history and my friend rattles on for ever and gives him a huge list of products that was part of her regime… and for some strange reason she couldn stop giggling… and the doc was quiet amazed at all the giggling but the poor soul laughed along and kept his cool 😀 The cause of all the giggling… my friend kept chanting : ‘what a tiny tiny tiny guy’ in her head all the time. After the doc convinced her that she wasn goin to die of the skin disease we headed to her office. She said ‘oh its goin to be a few mins thats all… ‘ which meant a lowely half hour social visit. We come out of her office and my darling friend’s skin catches fire, so we decided the sun was not good for her disease so we cancel our movie plans and get back home…after a lazy afternoon my friend gets a call from a company she recently interviewed for and realizes that they were ready to pay her bags of money…. she is thrilled and informs half her family about it in record time…oh!! jij and ravi.. shubha is goin to be really rich after today so you know who to call if you need some greens 😉
So we finally head out to watch a movie… we reach the theater and decided to watch ‘My Name Is Khan’. Since its a Yash Chopra’s film I mentally prepared myself for all the emotional drama that we were goin to be subjected to, and even before I stepped into the theater I knew I was goin to hate the movie. We settle down in the half empty theater and laugh our hearts out at Yash Chopra’s trailers for “Koochi Koochi Hota Hai” ( a remake of kuch kuch hota hai but its an animation.. I dont know what made Karan Johar think that people would enjoy watching puppy dog versions of SRK, Kajol and Rani huh …) Anyways, the movie starts and 2 scenes into the movie and I here sniffing… My friend with her super active tear glands was weeping even before kajol’s histrionics.
I actually liked watching the movie and only because,my friend was sniffing at all the right scenes and laughing at all the right ones keeping up the spirit of the movie.Suddenly I realized that every Karan Johar movie I watched and enjoyed was because I watched it with her.
Anyways, about the movie… well, it was a good first half and I almost felt nostalgic watching Kajol and SRK together once again.. and I was also amazed by SRK’s acting skills.. but the second half just kept dragging on for ever… Karan Johars’s emotional diarrhea totally kills the movie… by the end of it, SRK starts sounding like a robot and Kajol gets a wee bit annoying… way to go KJ you like end up sucking out all the joy out o the movie…
It was not one o those movies that messes with my head and ruins my day… so overall I had a decent first day in Mumbai n was even better cause I get to spend quality time with my girl friend 🙂

Day 2 & 3
We were being clowns the whole day and all we did was talk and walk like SRK in MNIK… 😀 Sat down and discussed life and men and it took awhile to convince my friend that ‘birds aren conspiring and plotting against her’.. for some strange reason she is eternally scared that she will be attacked by birds some day and thats how she will die!! 😀
Watched ‘Up In The Air’ and totally wuved the movie… guys its worth watching this one beliemme…
Even after 4 visits to this city I never once saw an actor..I kept complaining and cursing at my luck and faaaainallly, I see Mona Vasu and Vidya Malvade, although they didn make my day… I finally did see ppl who were on the screen… went shopping hoping to buy loads o new clothes and ended up with just 2 kurthi’s… Damn these malls… we walk out all upset and find the crowd in the mall goin absolutely crazy… my sharp eyed friend scans the crowd and spots Vivek Oberoi..

I couldn believe my luck… 3 famous ppl in 2 days.. Damn!! I should ave wished for somethin else..
After that we go to Bandra to sit by the sea and watch the sun set… We saw more then a sun set… we went searching for a shitless, crowless place for us to sit and finally found a bench… and so we settle down to watch the sun go down and we notice this guy sitting right in front o us… with his girlfriend, completely oblivious to the entire world… (o boy the disadvantages of low waist jeans).. so me and my friend sit and laugh our heads off and it was fun watching the Janta walk by… some ignored the skin show, some smiled and every time a family walked by, the husbands would call out to their wives and point to this poor man and they would laugh out loud… while the poor soul sat there completely in love and unaware of the whole world laughing at him… 😀 (I’am sooo going to end up in hell…)

Photo by : Shubha Viraraghavan

As always it was 3 days of absolute bliss, joy and madness… 🙂



Filed under Life

Long live the “King”

I watched living with Michael Jackson when I was 18 and the  only memory of the documentary I had was about Michael’s plastic surgery.  I watched the documentary again recently and was angered beyond wits.

Few minutes into the movie  you realize how callous and insensitive Martin Bashir’s comments are when Michael talks about Neverland and how he loves going on the rides alone.  It broke my heart to watch Martin grill Michael about his personal life.  I cringed every time Martin scoffed at Michael.

“don’t you prefer making love or goin to a concert” .. really .. lol!!, so the only pleasures in life, that seem normal, sadly, are carnal pleasures.

Michael seemed much like a child through out  the movie and here was a man (bashir) expecting all men of 44 years to be macho and insensitive.  By this time I was wondering if Martin had a traumatic childhood too, on the account of his emotional handicap.  So what if a man loves being a child and loves water balloon fights and rides.  To be a child by heart is not a crime, is it?

I was in tears when Martin fails to comprehend Michael’s love for children and his simple gesture of sharing a room with kids.  Makes me wonder if there is any place at all in this world for love in its pure form..Watch how shocked Martin is to Michael’s idea of sharing a bed with children…. Why does sharing a bed with children have to be sexual?  Are we so clouded that we fail to see that his love for kids is genuine and not sexual?

Life as we know it  is extremely complicated …  every situation needs to be analyzed and scrutinized and everything has to be filtered down into acts that are socially accepted.. hence acts of a man that are innocent in nature are turned into sexual acts.

We realize how important it is to be loved and to be cared for, only when we are denied of it. Why is it so hard to accept that a man who has been through so much as a child, wants to give the children of this world all the love he can.

This part of the movie was quiet disturbing… Michael probably should not have held his baby out of the window but i am sure he did not mean to kill the kid in front of the whole world. That issue was blown out proportion.Haven we heard of parents accidentally dislocating their child’s shoulder cause they tugged them the wrong way.Parents are not perfect human beings, they make mistakes and so did Michael.It was sickening to watch the media have a field trip over this one.In this part of the movie Michael is waving to his fans and you see how happy he is… Martin says “when I got up to his room I was worried, there was a manic quality about him that I’d never seen before”… He’s happy you fool… That’s how you feel when you are loved.

F***  the press! Michael you’re the best!  People should learn to avoid the media hubbub and understand the issue on their own and form an opinion for themselves.

We love him for his music and his dance.  He’s an inspiration and an idol for millions.  His music speaks for him…

I hope he has found peace and happiness where ever he is… We Love You Michael!

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My take on arranged marriages!!

The cause for undivided and unwanted attention when you turn 23 and loads of embarrassment. I’m so glad I’m off the radar and hence I see how hilarious the process could be.I’m not saying arranged marriages could never work, but I find the concept of marriage being arranged both amusing and scary. Amusing cause you suddenly find out that you have a huge family, cause everybody takes it upon themselves to search for your partner.Everybody wants to play a major role to marry you off to a stranger, which is the scary part.

When you finish with your teen years and step into your 20’s, it hits you so hard that you are no more a teenager.. and it only gets worse every year after that… and when you turn 23 or maybe 24 you have more to worry about then aging.Your entire family, even the ones on the other side of the earth pound on you like a pack of wolves.

Places of Attack-

Family get together s- you being the only source of entertainment for the evening.

Weddings – You are introduced to all mothers with unwed sons and your bio data is shared… by the end of all this you feel like a leather bag being scrutinized before your bought.

or for that matter any visit you make, you are always badgered by prospective mother- in- laws. I mean if you’re trying so hard to get your son married off there seriously must be something creepy about him.

When you go out shopping, say for your shoes, you would make sure you like the color, you see if it matches your clothes or not… right.Strangely arranged marriages seem much like shopping to me.

First the families meet and after brief discussions of how good and brilliant their children are, there is swapping of photographs and bio data.Photographs taken in studios all photo shopped to make him/her look fair or to cut the weight or to cover those blemishes.Bio data which is nothing but a resume.

Information is shared with family members and possible conversation would be.

“Oh!The boy doesn’t look so fair”

The formula about the color would be

Fair boy + Fair girl = Fair offspring

“Oh nooo… Iv seen the boy he is fair enough and his parents are such nice people”

Yeah right! It wont take long to realize that it’s a whole load o bull

“The boy has done his masters in the US he is presently working and earning in dollars.He’s a nice boy”

I can never understand how niceness is compared to degrees a person holds in United States or how much he earns.

Then comes the part where the boy and girl meet.Since we live in the 21st century for some bizarre reason families think they should meet up in a restaurant or a bakery. The family meets, all sit at the same table make some small talk, then the girl and boy are allowed to sit at a separate table. At this point they are given a couple of minutes to decide whether they could live with each other for life , but strangely the conversation is about jobs and salaries … ends up sounding like a job interview but who cares.Meanwhile the family is ranting about their kids and how irresponsible kids can be in this generation and how different their kids are or are saying good things about each other and making each other happy.

The respective kundalis are passed on to a wise man who can tell if the planetary arrangements are conducive. He looks at the stars and tells the family if their kids will end up screwing each others happiness or not.

If the planets co-operate then two phone calls later BHAM!!! the girl and boy exchange phone numbers and there are long conversations all night while the wedding dates are fixed by the wise man.

Fast and a half years or in some cases half a year later .. the girl and boy have enough greens and they would have popped out a baby that is healthy with brilliant genes and also fair . A perfectly engineered plan with a successful product.

I think its time they change the protocol.


Filed under My Musings

Long Distance Relationship-not a big deal!!

If you ask people about LDR …  most would say …

“What why would you do that to yourself”

“I would rather stay single”

“All the fun stuff is missing, but instead you would have the cribbing and the nagging … NO WAY!!”

Well, guess what… It ain’t rocket science and you will figure a way out if its worth the try. I don’t intend to be preachy.  Just hoping to tell you all, that it is not impossible to make it work. I hope this post helps all my friends out there who think a million times before getting into a LDR 🙂 …

Dos :

Communication being the life line for a LDR we realize that technology is a blessing in situations like these.Skype him/her it’s certainly cheaper than phone calls and more fun if you have a web cam . You will never run out of conversations if you make sure you talk about everything, discuss the weather if you have to. What really matters is, even when your apart your letting him/her be a part of your life. Make sure you talk every single day . Never hesitate to tell him/her that you care.

Mail him/her an E- card or songs that you think will make him/her smile .

Personalized gifts or writing letters which is never done in this time and age of technology will be a great idea.. it works like a charm.

Donts :

Do not expect him/her to have long conversations over the phone every single day.Life keeps everyone busy and an occasional short talk will do you no harm. Give some space.

Do not be clingy.If he/she wants to do something and you are not pleased with it, tell him/her that it bothers you but do not try to drive the point home   ( when on LDR it makes things worse)

Trust issues will kill your relationship before you know it, so if you think you could never trust him/her than forget it – don’t even think long distance relationship will work. It will die a quick death even before you know it.

Do not scream and yell at each other cause you do it once and you will do it all your life. Screaming and cursing will lead to hurting ego’s and once hurt the wound never really heals it always back fires. If your having problems try not to get emotional and dramatic.. simply talk it out.

LDR is a package deal. It can be the best thing that happened to you if it works out awesome. Every single time you meet it feels like a first date and you certainly have an opportunity to learn more about a person. The flip side would be mild depression, a want to be violent, might occasionally make you feel like an animal or wish you were one (if you know what I mean;) ), day dreaming and possible psychosis 😀

When you meet the right person all of the above dos and donts will be a cake walk.When you both care for each other it is easier to compromise and understand each other. It’s easier to fight ego and easier to deal with the side effects of LDR.  Dont hesitate to give it a try when you think it might just work


Filed under My Musings